Posted on: December 13, 2009 10:27 am
Top 10 signs Santa doesn't like your kid:
10. Kid's letter to North Pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chump!"
9. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes
8. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling
7. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left are styrofoam peanuts and any empty fifth of Jack.
6. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a reindeer head in his bed
5. Instead of "naughty" or "nice," Santa has him on the "dork" list
4. He gets him that BB Gun and a steel target to shoot at.
3. First words when kid gets on his lap are, "Touch my beard and I'll put the hurt on you!"
2. Labels on all your kid's toys read "Straight from Craptown"
1. Four words: "Off my lap, Tubby!"